Matters Of The Heart
I’m writing this from Whidbey Island, Washington state. That’s a pretty big deal because I’m from Greensboro, NC. And an even bigger deal because I drove the 3,000 miles to get here. Through fears of lack and two bitter northwest mountain snows in Wyoming and Utah, I pressed on in search of more of God and of more spiritual growth.
And how do we prepare ourselves for spiritual growth in God? Faith is the only way. Hebrews 11:6 tells us it’s the only thing that pleases Him. Faith doesn’t focus on the things we can see but requires us to keep our eyes on the God that we cannot.
I had my car looked over three times before getting on the road. Three good reports, I got, from man. But by the time I got to Mt Vernon, IL it was screeching and screaming, making noises that made me sick with fear. I checked into a motel, prayed, and went to sleep. The next morning God was still telling me to go west. I couldn’t understand it. I cried all the way from Mt Vernon to St Louis, 77 miles. The tears began in pity. You know the kind…that ‘woe is me’ cry. The one that underneath is sort of blaming God. Well thank the Lord He’s faithful; that He ministers us back from insane planes of thought back to the peacefulness of a sound mind.
.I had an “urge” I couldn’t ignore to stop in St Louis at The Griot, a museum of Black heritage & culture. When I got there they were closed and I couldn’t understand that either until I looked to the left. Directly across the street stood the shop of a third generation suspension and alignment specialist named Joe. He replaced my worn ball joint for a shocking price, added proper air to my tires and the spare, threw in an alignment, and gave me a new and safer route up through the mountains.
I thought I was going to The Griot. But all along God was leading me to the help I needed. It’s never about what we can see, it’s about the God we’ve come to know. There’s no failure in Him. Victory is His promise and so it’s guaranteed.
God is our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble.
I’m the woman who eight years ago was suffering from low self esteem, depression, and promiscuity. It was God who led me out. I’m the woman who three and a half years ago was able to walk off the job that’d been holding me down, back, and hostage for fourteen years. It was God who led me out.
I had very little money but I moved to New York City to study acting for a year. I’ve struggled with finishing projects all my life but I published Slow Running Honey, a book of Christian poetry in 2009. I didn’t just have a fear of public speaking, I had a fear of people in general. Now I speak to crowds about the Word and Ways of God.
Over and over again faith in God has blessed me with the opportunity to say “it was God who led me out.”
I don’t know you but I know God made you and that He don’t make no junk. I know that He loves you hard and soft at the same time. I know that whatever it is your heart desires He wants you to have it so much, He gave you the desire in the first place.
And I know you are afraid. I will never tell you not to be because I have so many fears of my own. What I will tell you though, is that after you’ve prayed to God, and studied His Word (the only pathway to learning His voice), begin to take steps towards your dream anyway. Do it even with the fear. Do it because of the fear, actually. And do it in full understanding that fear comes not from God, but from His enemy. Do it knowing it’s the only thing the devil has to keep you separated from your fullest, abundant life in Christ.